Posts (page 2)

Yes, I vaguely promised that I'd sort of try to post a bit. I lied. I do that a lot. Anyways I'm completely warranted in my slacker laziness reasoning. You see, the made-up justification reason is...

I'm taking a snow day!

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So I'll see you all as soon as I can whenever I get off my lazy ass to post!

This week had a pointless internet shutdown, my exactly as pointless Nagoya conference, and then an even more pointless illness keeping me down.

Still, soon I'll be able to blog about the Japanese health care system. That should amuse some of you.

I'll have to start before night though, I'm losing feeling in my right hand. It's cold here. 

People have asked me why, after my post about Miwajima's verocious man-eating deer I seem to have stopped posting again. I'm sure some of you are concerned that I'm dead or crashed my car into a ravine or something (HI MOM!I, but most of you have probably reached the more measured conclusion that there's something "strange" with my internet again, which prevents me posting. In this you are mistaken.

It's when my internet works at home that I find it strange. 

Hope that clears this thing up.

So, I'm back in the Japan. I faced this prospect with my usual amount of whining and whinging, and probably another word that starts with "whi". However, after thirteen-ish hours of flying, three-ish hours of training (by which I mean I took a train not that I was training to travel), and two-ish hours of huddling in my apartment alone and crying, or possibly unpacking, I decided I needed to get back into the swing of things. And what says "swing" more than blogging? And what says blogging more than talking aimlessly about a trip that I took that none of you will probably ever replicate, which makes me a better person than you.

I feel better already.

So without further ado, I present to you one of my experiences from my trip to Hiroshima. More specifically, my experience regarding...

The unstoppable, ravenous man-eating deer of Miwajima!

I mean it seemed like the only logical place to start. Yes, Miwajima, the famed "Shrine Island" of Hiroshima, but little does the unsuspecting tourist know that in reality it's a tourist trap of the worst kind. The kind designed to draw in unsuspecting foreigners as an impromptu and cheap foodstuff for their unstoppable and black-hearted deer, who have nothing but murder and questions about where all the male antlers went.

Look at them... they're up to something

I'm forced to conclude that the only reason these deer haven't murdered everyone on the island is that a group of brave individuals goes from colony to colony, to cut off the males' antlers, and then fools that they are the tourists believe that maeks them more "approachable" and "people-centred" and they move in to pet them, which is where they are struck down! You might think they're eating garbage in that picture, but in reality they're eating the only remnants of an unfortunate tour group only seconds ahead of us. Need you more proof of their vicious intent?

Then behold!

Yes, I found this deer mauling this hand that was severed, bloody and above all not-mine in the street, and the local inhabitants did nothing to stop it. Nothing I say! Clearly the island is going to be the set of the next Battle Royale movie where children will have to deal with the deer on top of each other. Truly a chilling prospect, that should make it clear to you all why my unconditional affection for Japan has become deeply conditional.

Beware the deer!

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Home.

Tired.

Hungry.

Sleepy.

Itchy.

Brains.

So, I leave for Hiroshima tonight, which begins the long and hopefully irreversible process that will be coming home. However, as I've come to expect, a snag has emerged.

I'm only bringing the small suitcase I bought in Nagoya home, as I don't know if I'm going to be able to store my big one anywhere

Well, at the behest of my mother, I have been asked to post an update that isn't a disjointed conversation with the scattered fragments of my psyche, as apparently she shows this to people at work and doesn't want them thinking their son is some sort of lunatic*. As ever, I live to serve, so here be some words for youse to chew on. No pictures since I still have uploading troubles, but remember that it's basically at freezing in my apartment, and I can't type with mittens on, so this story should be proof positive enough I'm making an effort!

In Japan, school terms start in the summer, so I'm rapidly approaching the end of Term 2, and Term 3 only seems to last from January to March, and if the impression I've gotten is any judge it's a lot less hectic in terms of schoolwork and a lot more intense for the ninth graders as they start preparing for high school entry. What this all means is it seems like they're acting like they're wrapping up, at least from the standpoint of English classes, as evidenced by today when they wrote about their favourite memory from Junior High School, despite the fact they still have three months to go.

This is context by the way, not the story, the story is what they wrote about. Most of them basically copied the sample paragraph given, with a few "Insert the details" here, which I would love to object to if I didn't do the same thing all the time in my classes. However, three of them wrote about the track and field race that happened a few months back in Toei (the one I wasn't invited to). They all wrote basically the same thing, due to the aforementioned paragraph copying, and no, the simultaneous memory isn't the story either. I merely feel the need for exposition.

The STORY is that I happen to know they lost that competition, apparently quite badly. I remember being told this, and have further evidence from the fact that they wrote about how they lost (quite badly). Naturally I corrected them and told them they couldn't write about this because they were supposed to write about their favourite memory.

They told me they understood.

I said they might be mistaken, since they were writing about a competition, and the point of the exercise was to write about something that they found enjoyable, something they would look back on when they were older and smile about, and share with their children and things like that.

They told me they understood, a little more doubtfully this time.

I sensed victory was at hand! I told them that they shouldn't write about a story where they lost, because this was supposed to be a happy memory, one they cherished and wanted to live over and over again, not a memory about something disastrous or off-putting. I was on a roll, and mangled my way through what little Japanese I knew in order to get my point across

They told me they didn't understand, not just due to my horrible grammar, and we ended up staring at each other for a bit before I asked Mr. Ichikawa for help, and he told me that they understood the exercise fine. I, apparently, didn't.

See it turns out I'd forgotten something about Japanese culture, they really do value memories of a sound thrashing more than an easy victory. Their fondest memory was being thrashed, because it gave them a chance to redeem themselves later, something to work to overcome and proof that there was still a long way to go.  It was the kind of self-inspiring speeches that would make Canadian high school students grown and get someone in a movie be torn apart by zombies because no one likes an inspirational speech. Except they meant it!

The reason I'm writing about it is that this is the sort of thing I really wanted to get out of Japan, so I'm actually quite happy. And still cold of course, but mostly happy. And now back to burrowing under blankets and killing zombies on my Wii. 1 week until I'm home!

*Apparently said co-workers of my mother don't know my family very well.

So, it's time for another STERLING session of Q&A, because quite honestly I'm too lazy to do anything else.

Q: Are you dead?
A: I thought so, for awhile. Then I realised that I was considering my life from a cosmic level, and since when the vastness of both time and space means that the insignificant clustering of atoms that forms my body and the not-even-instantaneous delusions of consciousness don't even register. Therefore I had come to believe that I didn't exist any more and so updating a blog was pointless. THEN I found out that the new season of Scrubs had started and I should really start downloading it, and I had to snap out of my delusions to do that
Q: So you're better now?
A: I'm going to treat that question with the contempt it deserves
Q: A lot?
A: Exactly.
Q: However I can safely assume you ARE going to start updating your blog again?
A: Not even remotely close to exactly.
Q: So what's your excuse this time?
A: I'm coming home in a week and a half, for two weeks. I will see family and friends and be well and everything will be good. FOREVER!
Q: Really?
A: Boy you're gullible today.
Q: Was there call for that?
A: Yes, but allow me to continue so that you don't have to ask another question
Q: Thanks
A: Any time. You see, my mother, in all her infinite glory and kindness, and above all her wisdom in knowing that her Christmas meals requires vast quantities of people eating it in order to even make a dent in the volume produced, has invited large numbers of friends and relatives over for a party, plus I'll no doubt be seeing people during the time I'm home outside of this too.
Q: So where's the problem?
A: The problem is that I'll have to TALK to people.
Q: That's a problem?
A: It is for me, because I'm not good at talking to people
Q: I know.
A: Shut up, that wasn't a question! Anyway, that means I'll need a large volume of Japan stories to tide people over for the holidays, get it?
Q: Couldn't you just save one or two stories and tell them to everyone over and over again despite the fact that repeating yourself makes you twitch and your blood pressure rise to a dangerous level until you just start focusing on their insignificant little heads, why can't they understand that this doesn't MATTER any more and why won't they just shut up and stop talking before my hatred makes your pitiful little brain EXPLODE!:
A: Right.
Q: So, see you in Vancouver?
A: Exactly! Looking forward to it!

It's a question I'm asked over, and over, and over, and over again to the point where I start trying to kill people with my brain. I usually just end up hyperventilating and giving myself a headache, but I haven't heard from Eric in awhile so maybe I should stop just to be safe. However, I shall address your concerns with this completely legitimate Q&A session held with myself.

I have a lot of conversations with myself, now you're privy to them!

Q: So, why DON'T you post more?
A: Good question, working under a very specific definition of good and question. You see, my internet sucks, and while it has been reconnected from home, it can no longer load Vox at home, meaning the only time I can post is while I'm at Tomiyama.
Q: Wow, that sure sucks. So why don't you post more from Tomiyama?
A: Because I'm at work, and am often busy. Tomiyama usually has something going on that prevents me from writing long entries. Plus the internet is prone to failure and I have to reboot, losing what I'm working on. This is discouraging.
Q: Couldn't you prepare entries at home and just upload them there?
A: Yes, but last time I did this I ended up with a massive backlog, and also I'm lazy. REALLY lazy.
Q: Alright, but can't you just use MSN to talk to us at Tomiyama? It's evening in Canada while you're at work there, but we can at least chat right?
A: Wrong. I have narrowed the major perpetratory of random internet failures at Tomiyama to MSN, not my gigabytes-a-day torrenting habit. Therefore, using MSN means I can't download things
Q: You place downloading things over talking to your family and friends?
A: Yes, but internet failures usually occur over the span of minutes, not hours, and it's REALLY frustrating!
Q: You're exaggerating this, right?
A: My internet failed twice so far while doing this Q&A. I'm unhappy.
Q: So why don't you use MSN at home?
A: I do, but when I get home it's often after midnight in Canada, and on the weekends I go out for shopping or to prevent myself from going stir-crazy.
Q: I understand.
A: Good, because I don't answer questions that come from outside my head.

I'm at work so this'll be a short post, but I went to Toyokawa with Colin this Sunday, and at my whining insistence we checked out a new dollar store, which was actually two seperate yet identical buildings connected by a parking lot. My GOD how it puts Canadian "dollar" stores to shame. Thus I have decided that for the next little while I will do short snippets about how awesome it is. So we'll start with the awesomeness about the coming Christmas season.

Christmas trees!

Yeah, these trees are fairly meager, but still. A fairly wide selection of fake plants and the little trees would be nice to hang up around the home for the holidays. Not, perhaps, the MOST impressive selection, but this isn't all there is.

Christmas Lights!

Oh yes, one dollar Christmas lights. They only come in packs of twenty or thirty, but still. They're cheap, easy to find, have lots of replacement bulbs and are actually fairly bright. A nice touch, but not the last one.

Christmas Ornaments!